Communication Toolkit

Supporting conversations around suicide and mental health

Words matter - talking about suicide

Finding the right words when discussing suicide isn’t easy - whether you’re supporting a distressed colleague, talking to the bereaved, or discussing a patient death by suicide. Language has evolved, and using the right terminology helps reduce stigma, encourages openness, and supports compassionate care.

Avoid saying	Use instead	Why?
Committed suicide	Died by suicide Lost their life to suicide	"Committed" suggests crime or sin, which adds shame and stigma.
Successful suicide	Fatal suicide attempt Died by suicide	Framing a death as "successful" is harmful and inappropriate.
Failed suicide attempt	Survived a suicide attempt Non-fatal attempt	Avoid framing survival as failure.

Key takeaway

It’s now considered best practice to say "died by suicide" instead of "committed suicide".

Never share details about method or location - this can lead to increased risk (known as the Werther effect).

Avoid speculation about motives or causes - this can distress others and oversimplify complex issues.

Talking to Someone You’re Worried About

Starting a conversation about suicide can feel daunting – but asking directly does not increase risk. It can be a relief for the person to talk openly and be heard.

Papyrus guide: How to have difficult conversations about suicide

Samaritans: Suicide prevention communications guide

Do

Ask clearly and directly if they’re thinking about suicide. "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" "Have you had thoughts of suicide?"
Stay calm if they say yes - having thoughts does not necessarily mean they will act on them
Support them to seek help - "Would you like me to support you get help?" Offer to stay with them, make a call together or walk together to get support
Share messages of hope - people can and do recover. Hearing that other people have felt the same and got better makes a difference.
Reassure them they are not alone and you care.
Take your concern seriously and act on it.

Recommended training:

If you're worried about a colleague

Take action - trust your instincts. If something feels off, don’t ignore it.

What to do

Speak up: If you can’t raise it directly, escalate to someone that can - a senior, safeguarding lead, or wellbeing service. If you do nothing else, make sure someone in a position to help is aware.
Show you care: “I’m worried about you” can make someone feel seen.
Be present: Listen without judgement. Small, kind gestures make a difference.
Act if urgent: If there’s immediate risk to life, call 999 or support them in getting to A&E.
Signpost to help: View Mental Health and Wellbeing Support resources
Report the concern: Don’t carry it alone - make sure it’s followed up.
Use your clinical judgement: You may notice subtle signs others miss - act on them.

What to avoid

"I know exactly how you feel" - instead, try "That sounds really tough."
"Just get through it" or "You’ll be fine" – these can feel dismissive.
Comparing struggles - don’t say "Others have it worse."
Ignoring warning signs. Low mood, disengagement, risk-taking behaviour, or comments about feeling hopeless should never be ignored. These may be expressions of distress or suicidal ideation. Learn how to spot the signs
Never agree to keep serious concerns confidential. If someone shares something that makes you worried for their safety, you have a duty of care to act, even if they’ve asked you not to share. Explain that you need to seek support because their safety matters

Supporting someone bereaved by suicide

Grief after suicide is complex and can feel isolating. People often don’t know what to say.

Helpful resources

Talking about suicide online

Using social media to share thoughts or grief can be helpful, but unsafe content can increase harm.

How to talk about suicide safely online

For managers and leaders

Having supportive conversations

As a manager or leader your words can make a major impact. You don’t have to have all the answers – showing care and making space to listen is powerful.

Useful phrases

"I’ve noticed you seem a bit different lately - how are things?"
"I might not have all the answers, but I care and I’m here."
"What would help you most right now?"

Recommended resources

NHS England - Wellbeing Conversations Toolkit

A practical guide for managers and leaders to help embed compassionate, person-centred wellbeing conversations.

Includes structure, prompts, and do's and don'ts
Designed to be used in 1:1s, supervision, or informal check-ins
Supports conversations about burnout, stress, and emotional distress

View the toolkit

Access the e-learning module

Mental Health Toolkit

This resource provides guidance about spotting the signs, having sensitive conversations and maintaining boundaries and looking after your own mental health.

Visit the Business Disability Forum website

Mental Health at Work

Mind + NHS Employers Partnership

Practical tools, conversation starters, and signposting for managers.
Tools for returning to work after mental health absence
Includes specific guidance on supporting staff who are struggling
Downloadable templates and checklists

Visit the NHS Employers website

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